Thursday, April 7, 2011


I have been struggling with so many things as of late & not enjoying anything :/

I sit downstairs and think about coming up here to "visit" with all of you but then I think I'm just too tired. I have had two infusions that haven't seemed to help a whole heck of a lot, going back this Friday for a few injections in my hip ~ GRRR!

I have been going to Weight Watchers for four weeks now & I have only lost 1.4lbs, WTH I am writing everything down weighing & measuring but no luck!

My son is on my mind constantly, I cannot stop thinking of him. I wake up when I hear a car or truck outside and my heart pounds so hard I think that the neighbors will hear it, LOL! I scared Mr. P last Saturday night jumping up to look out the window...

My cell phone rang yesterday and the number came up USMC and a 910 exchange my heart was Billy thank you Jesus. He had a few minutes on his calling card and needed to talk to someone. Two Marines were KIA and he was asked to help retrieve and ready for the flight home, he was able to be with them as soon as they arrived back at Camp Leatherneck and he stayed with them until they were ready to be boarded on the plane. He was able to be there to help load them in and then salute as they were carried past. He said that it was heart wrenching but beautiful, he said they were young men...still had a lot of life left to live. Billy said that he was honored to have been able to do that for them but that he was shaken to the core and feeling so sad for their families.

His other reason for calling was to let me know (you see he spoke to his dad on Sunday and told him but didn't' want to tell me) that he was going to be going out very soon and that after being a part of that sendoff he couldn't go out without calling to say he loved me. I can tell you it was hard not to cry while on the phone with him, I broke down when we finally hung up and I have been a wreck ever since.

Mr. P is very quiet we kind of just wander through our day aimlessly. I thank God for our beautiful daughter she is such a joy, she and Mike are enjoying life and moving on with some very exciting plans, hopefully I will be able to share with you all very soon.

I think that I am very depressed and anxious and I will be talking to my doctor again tomorrow about it.

Sorry to be such a bummer...

Until the next time....


  1. Oh my dear Lynda! I feel your pain! I have been watching the fallen HEROS on TV and it shakes me to the core EVERY time! I know what you are feeling, the sound of a car or the knock on the door scares the daylight of you AS IT DID us and will again!

    I remember one time, I was talking to Cindy on the phone while Justin was in Afghanistan... a sales person or someone came to the door! She was scared because she was by herself and from her voice, I thought it was something else:( Thankfully it was just a sales person!

    Dear Lynda, my heart is full with LOVE and PRAYERS for you, Mr. P and your SWEET SON!

    God be with you always and give you peace and comfort! Love you to pieces! Ganky

  2. Dear Sweet Friend!!! I am here for you, though we may be miles away...I AM HERE!! You call me ANYTIME day or night!! I know all those feelings oh so well and can remember the phone ringing one night after not hearing from Justin in such a long time and I jumped straight up out of the bed into a standing position and I scared Jeff to death!! It is a fear like no other and I hate that we have to go through this!!! Please call me if you need me...770-685-9800!!! I love you and I continue to keep you, Mr. P, and that precious Marine in my prayers!!! I promise...Prayer works!! I love you and hope that you can find some sort of comfort today!!

  3. I am crying with you. I read it to my husband and we are praying for you, Mr. P and most of all Billy!!! I pray peace for you all and God's angels around Billy's body, heart and spirit. I love you, girlfriend. Share with us your burdens anytime. We are all here for you always!!! xoxo

  4. Praying....count on it. Hugs to you dear Lynda,....thinking of you today and your hip and your pain both in your body and your spirit as you miss your guy!!! Keeping ALL of you in my thoughts and prayers, specially Billy!!!!!!! Hugs Hugs Hugs

  5. You were on my mind a lot today, so I put something up on my blog just for you. Praying for you!!!!